A Change, A Difference
by riskydenial
Summary: Returning to her academy friends she now recognizes as 'traitors', and after five years of intensive training from Persona-sensei, what is the Mikan right now? Will her so-called friends know the reason behind her demeanor? or are THEY the reason?
1. Once Again, Not Anymore

**A CHANGE, A DIFFERENCE**

**CHAPTER 1**

**Once Again, Not Anymore**

_This is it._

_I have lived my life according to my purpose._

_This very instant, I have to face my useless past, once again. Ugh._

For five years, Sakura Mikan had been training. Training intensively and not caring about her emotions. No happiness, no choices. Her mind had been set straight. Not the childish girl she was before anymore, no way, not anymore. She has changed. And she knew that fact. And she liked it.

In fact, she loved it.

_Now I have to face those bunches of idiots. I would be meeting them, those heartless thugs, those cold demeanors, everyone, once again._

_Once again._

_Those bastards._

_Those sluts._

_Everyone._

She clearly changed. Her perspectives, everything changed. The reason why? She wouldn't tell anyone. Only her mentor knew and another one. But she changed. Not to mention her looks.

_Those liars._

Setting aside her usual brunette hair and almond eyes, she was what anyone would say-a beautiful change.

Her hair was not in pigtails anymore. She considered it childish. She quickly disposed of that hairstyle and that trait. Being childish is not a good attitude, it means being idiotic and weak as Persona-sensei had told her. Her body had defined curves, compliments to intensive training from none other than the white masked sensei.

Whichever side you look at her-she's amazing. Not having those unusually big eyes anymore which contained happiness. Instead, those eyes contained darkness, instinct, intelligence, stubbornness, strength.

_In a matter of 7 minutes, 6 seconds and 5 milliseconds I would be entering the god forbidden academy. God knows what they would expect. I should prove them wrong. I am not the person they would expect and be happy about anymore. They're all idiots if they would think that._

_I am not the person they used to know._

"Are you excited to enter Gakuen Alice again, Shiro Neko?" Persona started their first conversation after five, quiet hours have passed during their travel in the school's limousine.

_I am different._

"No." Less words she would use, the better, she thought. She wouldn't waste talking about the damned school so much. She hated it.

_I am unique._

"Then would you be happy to know you start school exactly at 7 am tomorrow?" he asked again, not looking at her, instead keeping an eye on the road.

_I am special.._

"No." she said as a matter-of-factly.

"I demand elaboration, Shiro Neko." He looked at her then stared back at the road waiting for her answer. He wanted to hear her voice out, at the very least.

A minute passed before she replied.

"They would not be of importance for me to lose my composure, sensei, better yet let out a grin of appreciation. They do not deserve any of it, sensei. I assume, you of all people would understand and respect my decision."

He smirked, and then straightened out fast before someone sees his smirk. She had said the words he wanted her to say. She is his best creation. She showed great improvement, especially with her great determination. And of course, her amazing alice.

Being able to nullify an opponent's attack is one thing, but to be able to steal or copy it is another. She was trained and she proved she was worth the time and effort of her sensei. She was skilled mentally, physically, and soon after, emotionally.

_2 minutes, 25 seconds more._

"The answer is well respected."

"As you have expected, sensei" was her reply.

_I will not fail you. I will honor you._

"I did expect that answer, Mikan"

She opened her mouth, wanting to say something but the driver called out saying they arrived. Her sensei seldom called her by her name. Every time he did, it meant something. Either he's serious, hurt, or proud of her actions.

"Prepare for the welcoming, Shiro Neko" He tapped her back.

"I thought this would be done secretly?"

"Please try your hardest to comprehend with this situation, Mikan Sakura, you are entering here today secretly but you will not be able to hide the truth that you _are_still the Mikan Sakura your friends knew before..-" he started explaining but was cut by a cold voice belonging to his best student.

"I am not the Mikan Sakura they knew" she corrected a little bit colder than she intended. But she couldn't help it. She hated those people who betrayed her. Betrayal. Betrayal. It kept ringing in her head. She hated it.

_They disgust me._

Her face showed angst upon hearing the word 'friends'.

Friends? They betrayed her. They're all liars. They were all…

"Mikan?" A raven haired girl called out from a distance. She was just passing by the hall towards the office from a conference meeting and her best friend's face greeted her. However, instead of her usual warm and welcoming aura, she had a dark one which made Hotaru doubt it was her best friend, Mikan.

_Hotaru. You were one of them. A traitor. Traitor!-_

Persona seeing his student stiffen up, layed a hand on Mikan's shoulder to lend his comfort in the least way he could. Truth was he wanted to see how his student would handle seeing her ultra-super-duper best friend, which is usually the cause of Mikan's tantrums in attempting to hug her or the breaking of her calm composure.

But Mikan never failed her mentor. She didn't lose her composure. Still calm, emotionless, cold. This was Mikan now, and she's showing it to the most important person for her.

Scratch that.

It should be ONCE important person, before she was a victim of her best friend and other friend's lying and backstabbing. They were traitors in Mikan's eye from now on, and she will trust no one except her mentor, Persona-sensei, and three more people unknown to others.

But a fact she would like to share to everyone-Hotaru is definitely not counted in those trusted people of hers. Never.

"Let's move on, sensei." She looked up at Persona with those cold eyes showing she didn't care about the girl in front of her, or maybe she wasn't aware of the girl's presence? No. Mikan had _perfect_ eyesight which would make it impossible for her not to notice such a visible presence.

"Are you sure?" He replied after thinking about her actions.

Mikan gave him a quick 'what-the-heck-are-you-saying' glare before regaining her usual expression. She didn't expect that. She wanted him to say yes or agree already just to stay out of her ex-best friend she was facing right now. So why did he say '_are you sure?'_? What did her mentor want her to say?

"Yes, I clearly do not like being in this area at the moment. Please bring me to my room." She started walking away. She wanted her mentor to just quietly follow her and not make a fuss in front of Imai Hotaru. Her mentor did get what she was thinking and walked beside her.

"Mikan! I know it's you..-" Hotaru called out. Why was Mikan acting that way? Shouldn't she have launched herself at Hotaru and prepare to get hit by her baka gun? But Hotaru didn't feel that way. Somehow, she knew there was something wrong with her, and if Mikan would hug her, she wouldn't hit her at the moment. Besides, she wanted to know why she suddenly left without telling anyone except him. _Him._ That Natsume Hyuuga.

Natsume was reading a manga, of course on top of _their,_but now only his, sakura tree, couldn't help but sense great danger. Wait. It wasn't danger. It was his mentor, 'that bastard', Persona. But he could sense another aura. A much, much, much more dangerous one near his mentor, in fact, they seemed to be standing beside each other, sharing their both dark aura. But who is that person? Whoever he or she is, that person is strong. And aside from the dark aura he or she possessed, that person held a familiar aura.

_Is that person..? No way. She would never possess such a dark and strong one. She would always be one to have a happy aura around her._

But doubt went up his mind. He shook the feeling away, but he couldn't shake the feeling at all.

_Maybe it is Mikan after all.._

Her aura was too familiar with him. She _was_ his partner, after all. But setting that aside, Mikan was surely a special person for Natsume. He just wouldn't accept it. Mikan leaving the academy, without saying a proper goodbye with only a warning that she might leave soon, made Natsume feel a part of him disappeared. A special part has left him. Mikan.

He started sensing where the aura was from but he forgot to control his own aura, and once the person sensed he or she is being tracked, he/she quickly hid his/her aura. A trained person. A _very_trained person. _Probably a new, recruited dangerous ability type,_Natsume thought and washed of the feeling that it would be Mikan. Mikan would never come with Persona.

Or so he thought.

Just below the cherry blossom tree he was reading at, was Persona with a girl that looked like Mikan. No. It _is_Mikan.

"Mi…" He started whispering under his breath.

"I know you are up there.." Mikan suddenly spoke up while looking straight and not in his direction. Maybe she didn't spot him. Just maybe, he hoped.

But then she stared up the tree, exactly where Natsume was sitting on. She didn't exactly stare, Natsume thought but he erased the truth that Mikan actually glared as if it was the most normal thing to do. "..But I do not wish to talk to you, so please leave me alone." She finished, and left with her mentor. Their mentor.

_I can't believe that bastard knows about Mikan's disappearance before. Damn it!_, He jumped down the tree to follow the two, but..

"I told you to stay Kuro Neko." She faced him. More like glared, again.

"What are you saying, you idiot? Do you know how much people were worried about..-" he glared back but was cut by the 'idiot' he was referring to.

"I am not an idiot, Kuro Neko.." she replied calmly. "..but I warned you to stay back, I will forgive you if you stop your attempt on getting near me." She turned back again and started walking.

"Shiro Neko, stay composed." Natsume heard Persona whisper.

_Shiro Neko? What the? ..I need to know what.._ , Natsume started following them, totally ignoring what 'Shiro Neko' said. Suddenly, he felt something enter him, like a thunder that flowed through his body until it got past his self defense and got to his head and snapped a bolt inside, electric current flowed once again, more rapidly this time, and by the time it has ended, he was completely paralyzed, not to mention wounded inside.

Wounded not only physically, but he wouldn't admit being hurt emotionally. He wanted to stop whatever was happening and demand answers from _his_ ex-partner but it seemed quite impossible now. Not only impossible to get answers, but to be free from the struggles he'd been feeling. He wanted to let Mikan know she had been hope, a small light in the middle of his darkness, but it seemed his little light was blown off. And now everything seemed impossible.

But he wasn't ready to give up yet. He will know what happened to _his_Mikan. He wanted the old Mikan back. He wanted her so badly. He wanted her no matter what. He needed her. He craved for her coming back, and he wanted it to be soon. But something told him it wouldn't happen soon. Not soon at all. And he hated that feeling. He wanted to smack his head for thinking things like that. He wanted to get angry at himself.

"This is your room, special star my student." Persona led Mikan to her new room. He wanted to make her feel relaxed after all those times, but even he thought something was wrong with him. He felt so comfortable with the girl.

Over the years they've been together, Persona had gradually come to liking the girl as if she was his daughter. She was a very obedient person but stubborn at times, which was part of the reason why he liked her more. She was different than the rest of them. What was the most important thing about this girl was that she understood him. Persona was never the easiest person to be with, but with Mikan, he felt as if he was actually having fun. But he never got that in the way of his teaching. He started her training, and even if she was tired, you could see determination in her eyes every time. Persona got used to her new behavior; besides, he _is_ part of the reason behind Mikan's new demeanor. Mikan seldom shared her smile, but whenever she smiles, she shares her happiness with invincible happy rays. Persona thought it was a weird thought, but that was part of _his_ gradual changing, thanks to the girl.

It wasn't only Mikan who changed. It was both of them. A student learns from the teacher, at the same time, the teacher learns from his student. Persona first thought this was a stupid thought, but when he got to meet Mikan, he finally understood and kinda scolded himself for thinking he was knowledgeable enough. Truth was he respected Mikan.

(~)

"School starts tomorrow, wake up at four thirty sharp, take a bath by 5 am at the least..-" Persona started blabbering about my schedule. Gosh, if I didn't respect him I could've shoved him off my new, special star room.

"-..take a bath, eat dinner by 6, leave the dormitory by 6:30 sharp, arrive there by 6:45 and blah, blah, blah. I know Persona-sensei! I can read your mind anyway.." I shared my seldom grin. It's sensei anyway. I can sense he was taken a back but got back to his usual self when he saw my grin.

"I'm sorry Shiro Neko, but I wanted you to not be late in your first day of school, and..-"

"I am sorry if I offended you, my mentor. I do not wish to intimidate you any longer so I suggest we must part, after all, I want some time alone and free especially after a five hour, 8 minute, 54 second, 3 millisecond drive from the training grounds. And I would love to be able to spread my body around and start working out." I spoke fast, but I am sure Persona-sensei heard me because he nodded and left the room, now _my_room, without further ado.

I sighed as I lay myself down on my king size bed. Five years. It's been five years since I left this stupid academy. I vowed to get away as much as I can, but God knows why I was sent back here. I soaked myself with everyday sweat. I trained hard, trained and trained, and now I am stronger and I'll prove them all wrong. I am not the Mikan they can push around and lie to. I have feelings before but now I don't care how much you drag me down, because in the end you will be a failure. You _all_ who dare to challenge me will _be_a failure. I am different. I am unique. I am special. You'll be sorry you bastards did this to me.

If you ask me why I became like this, the answer is them themselves. They're stupid enough to greet me after what they did to me. Such bitches. Such bastards. They're all assholes.

Once again I come here, not anymore the person you expect me to be.

(~)

**konnichiwa! I am riskydenial in and this is my first time submitting a fanfic. I hope you do not criticize me much, but flames are very well accepted, but please tell me what I did wrong so that I'd understand thank you for reading this and lastly, please review! Onegai I really would love pleasant reviews**

**um.. would you mind if I ask a newbie question? I'd be glad to hear anyone answer it**

**-how many pages do you use when you type a chapter? I wanna know if I made it too short..?**


	2. To Face What I Have Left Behind

**A CHANGE, A DIFFERENCE**

**CHAPTER 2**

**To Face What I Have Left Behind**

_Why do I have to?_

Mikan Sakura, once the angel they knew, now the devil they'd meet, woke up by her natural instincts. No more need for those things they call alarm clocks. When she was being trained by Persona in the woods, she only had to rely on instinct. Nothing else. Nothing and no one.

_To wake up so early for those kind of people? God. Such a pain._

She woke up at exactly five in the morning and wanted to start training, not a millisecond late. After all, that had been her daily activities for god knows how many years, months, days, seconds. She forgot that she had to be more carefree and start living this 'normal' high school life. No more fighting. No more training, beast killing. Just normal. Just _normal._

Normal? She never wanted that word. Because she wasn't one. She's different.

Powerful.

_This place is no match for me._

Unique.

_Why do I have to go back to this place? I don't want to. It's such a cursed place. Such a damn and horrid place._

Striking. Matchless. Incomparable. Different.

Not normal.

_Because they are still here. And because_he _is still here. Here in the same academy. Same academy as where he is, and I am, and they are too._

She went to the hefty, wooden window at the right side of her room. Why was it that she had to return to _this_academy again? She looked at the Northern Woods and had to stay away from the window once she saw that place. She drifted away from the spot at once.

That place where she had first discovered her alice. And _how_ she discovered it.

And _who_ made her discover it.

_Damn it! No use for these memories._

Memories? Enough. She had to forget these things.

Same as her feelings.

The wind breezed in from the window. Damp, cold, freezing. It ran through her whole body as if it was embracing her. Comforting her. But she didn't need it. Comfort is such a stupid thing. Because no matter what, comfort wouldn't mend one's heart. That's why comfort was nothing. Not one entity in this world for her. It was a stupid thing brought up by hope and faith.

She didn't need the cold air. She was already cold inside out.

Faith? It was also stupid. Because no matter what, no matter how much faith you put in people, they would always manage to fail you and break that bond. The bond which was supposed to be 'divine', so they say. Faith in the person you love? Tch. Nobody who's intellectual would give such a feeling, scratch that, a _thing_ to anyone. Especially after he was one of the reasons why you are now in despair. And is feeling anger, hatred, angst.

The wind once again hit her. Lightly by the cheeks, it made her shiver from the sudden motion. _Cold,_she thought.

_Just like his eyes. Especially the time where in my alice was discovered._

She thought about this not in a sincere and reminiscing way but most likely a thought which made her feel revenge.

_Now it's my turn to do that to him. To face him with a glare and intimidate him. To fight him and scare him. To get vengeance._

Then she shook off her thoughts about him.

_Why the hell am I thinking of that guy._

_He was not worth it right? He was basically the reason why I'm here in this state. The state of not caring about anything,_nor_anyone, at all anymore._

She's had enough of these mind wrecking thoughts. She wanted to disregard everything, everyone. She wanted to make it clear, that she's not up to those 'friendship bonds' anymore. She was sick of it all.

Having to accept them, having to have fun with them, having to smile at their stupidity, having to..

Having to unintentionally hear things being said about her, being done to her by those so called friends.

(~)

Great, Persona's planning to check on me in a minute and three point five seconds. Enough time for me to jump off the window and do my running exercises without him knowing.

So, what was my first class again? Oh right. Serina's.

I definitely don't need _that._I practically _have everything_ already. Sure, I'm cocky, but I do have skill, power, greatness.

I gathered my stuff and put it inside my messenger bag and, as graceful as ever, jumped out the 8 feet French window, down from the 25th floor where special stars are located. No biggie. I've managed much higher ones.

Sigh. I hear Persona's foot steps fifteen and a half meters near. He's just _too_over protective isn't he? Or too controlling. Which ever way I put it, it's more or less the same.

Running around this place brings back hateful memories. Sure _they_considered it all _happy_and stuff. Ugh. That's so disgusting. They were so used to _me _being so oblivious and uncanny. Let me show them.

Let me show them they're wrong. So wrong.

(~)

She was right in front of the door. Right in front of the first class she'd be facing and be introduced, _again_, to. She hated attention.

Well, sure she'd love it if it was because she's great and all, but damn it, attention from these _people_? No way. She was sure they'd be asking stuff about her. Like '_why did you disappear Mikan-_chan_?', 'We missed you so much, where were you?'_and all the common, disgusting things people would to say to someone they haven't seen for just about, what, just five years?

Oh after she's done introducing, no one would _dare_call her '_Mikan-chan'_anymore.

She didn't want to gather too much attention just before being 'reintroduced', and besides it was a matter of seconds until Serina would be arriving, and it was no big deal holding up the invisibility alice she was using.

_There you are Serina, heck you're a minute and a half late._

As Serina was about to open the door knob Mikan showed herself. Who would miss such a sight. A sight so beautiful yet so enigmatic, so nostalgic, yet dark. One of the most dearest students she had before..

"Mikan Sakura?" She smiled. Oh how she missed the child's presence. How she cried when she learned she was taken away without any goodbyes at all.

Now she's back.

"Yes." Was her dry reply.

Serina could barely contain her joy and was about to hug her like she used to when she was stopped by a barrier.

"Contain your tears for they are of no use. You're a minute and a half late or would you want me to intricate more by going by the milliseconds?" she raised her eyebrows.

Yeah, she's _back._

_Not the Mikan you were expecting? Good._

She looked at Mikan with solemn eyes, if Mikan didn't miss it, which she didn't, with pity.

_Oh great, now this teacher's the first one to hit me with a look like that. Spare me Persona._

"Right, let's introduce you then." Serina entered the room.

(~)

God, let's get this over with.

"Good morning my dear students," Serina smiled and looked at me with those ugly eyes as she introduced me. "Some of you may remember her, she's Mikan Sakura, while some might have been classmates of hers, and some, friends of-" Oh puh-lease. Friends? Damn you.

"No friends, I'm not interested in socialization, and don't dare think we _know_each other. 'Cause we don't," I looked at everyone, found _him_ "…and we will never do." I finished. I walked towards my 'to be assigned seat'

"Mikan, you're seat's..-" Serina started, till I cut her that is. "I know. Last seat to the left, second to the last row, the one with vandalisms about that Hyuuga and his stupid fans club." I stated. Now everyone stared with disbelief as I was feets away from the table. Maybe they started thinking how I knew or how I predicted, and maybe some asked if I was really Mikan, and crap. The crap thing? They were probably thinking how I could easily and uncaringly say '_that Hyuuga_' and all. Pfft. Plus those bitches, his fans club to which I was referring to. Or maybe some of them even thought 'doesn't she always call Hyuuga-sama, Natsume-kun?'. And more crap.

Okay, delete the maybes and probabilities. I can totally read their sucking crap heads.

Just when I finally got my seat I felt someone invading me. Trying to read my mind, eh? As if he can. Kokoroyomi, was it? Yeah, the one with the sheepish smile all the time, I'll let him off, he was always a good person. No way would he, nor any Alice here, be able to break my defense. They're all weaklings. I showed a slight smirk; maybe he saw it and turned away as I saw him from the corner of my eye.

..And so I _tried_to continue listening to all her crap, god damnit, when would she ever end this? I mean, three fourths of the student population in the class were sleeping and practically drooling. The one fourth? Well they were doing their _own_stuff.

This is so straining. While they slack off I might as well go and train or race my stamina more. Not that I lack of it. Or even take missions. I don't want to be rusty just because of this stupid-ol'-school.

(~)

Yes, sure, Mikan Sakura's defense might not be broken. But there's always this 'might' part.

Natsume was also a trained one. He could still look at her the way he'd always done before, by peering through his manga. Though now there will certainly be no more staring contests and stupid talk. Clearly she isn't as dense as before.

He was still taken aback from her calling him 'that Hyuuga' as if they were so unfamiliar with each other. Which they weren't since they've known each other more than anyone else could get to know them. They've been surprisingly stuck together ever since they were ten till eleven when she suddenly vanished without enough explaining to do.

Okay, so maybe he was guilty? Why, you ask? Well it's far too early for him to accept his guilt. God, it's been five years and he still hasn't accepted what he's done, and what she's done.

But what brings her here? A mission? He kept staring at her, there's definitely something wrong. Yet it seemed as if Mikan was comfortable with her new personality. As if she's been like that all along.

_The heck, what did persona do to you?,_Natsume asked himself.

He knew Persona, his trainer _before_he vanished _with_her, he taught him really well, and he himself was considered a masterpiece, but what could he have done to let this girl, his partner, well, _ex-partner_, be so…emotionless.

Now, it wasn't only the infamous Natsume Hyuuga who thought about her. First, Hotaru Imai was still in a state of recovery. Was her stupid best friend being… not so stupid anymore? Or should she face the fact that not only had she grown more intellectual, her whole-being surely had changed. Not to mention her outer appearance.

Flat-chested, curvless barbeque stick, a head as big as a hot air balloon and as empty, now had evolved. Obviously she never went through plastic surgery; Hotaru always knew she had a beautiful best friend. Although, now her hot air balloon head was obviously stacked, which was good, but it seemed as if her heart that before was sweeter than anything, seemed like the hot air balloon in a way that it was…

…empty.

How come she didn't leave a note behind? Contact details, stupid souvenirs, and things that would look like something out of a 'Last Will and Testament' which she'd definitely do. She was the one who told Hotaru that they'd never leave each other alone anymore.

It wasn't just that she was merely wondering, she was panicking deep inside, not knowing if her Mikan was in trouble. Surely others would know about her disappearance too. No one could take Mikan having to leave them and live the same life as they did before she arrived in the academy. This was Mikan. Everyone must know. Especially him.

_Why would you leave us like that? I thought for sure you would tell us why, I thought for sure you'd find a way to visit us. I thought for sure you'd tell at least Hyuuga who'd always been there for you as oblivious as you were. I thought at least that when I saw you yesterday you'd run up to me and say you missed me. Baka, I thought for sure..._as the ice princess battled with herself and her inner thoughts, she could not help but cry. Ice princess, crying? You might ask. She dare not show it to anyone. She simply caged herself in her snail house as everyone didn't really care much since they were used to her being like that for about five years already. Locking up the snail house whenever she felt like it. Her reason being she was bored and she had clients to attend to. Do not disturb. Typical of Hotaru, others would think.

Sure they'd be gullible. But those who knew wouldn't be surprised at how she's acting.

(~)

Forty-five minutes have passed by and god am I glad I copied 'sleep-not alice' even after they said it was useless. It was sure useful now. Excluding the handiness it came when I encounter sleep potions and injections. Tsk.

Fifteen minutes more and I'll be suffering more torture. Obviously the self-proclaimed friends would be gathering near me, I can just see it already. Ugh. Unfortunately they're all having second thoughts and I can't figure out what would happen next. Ugh. Permy's giving me a headache. She keeps on thinking of me, then Hyuuga, Nogi, me again, and dogs then back at me. As cluttered as she'd always been.

I've never really abused my Alice_**s **_since it's against Persona, but pfft. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. And I'm desperate to not get bored. I could actually let a doppelganger replace me, but then Persona and _he'd_be disappointed in me. Speaking of _him,_he's sure to come back to the academy the same day as… today.

That's good; at least I'd be able to spend some time with a fellow intellectual. And a trust worthy one at that.

(~)

The bell.

_Great._Mikan thought.

Mikan sighed and got prepared as Natsume, followed by Nogi, Koko, Anna and Nonoko, and you know the rest, went towards her. Hotaru was still inside the shell. Probably applying some mixtures as to hide her sadness.

"Mikan, " the fire-caster called out. Being the closest one, err… before made him the first one to approach.

"You dare call me Mikan" She shot back. Nothing else was involved, yet it still gave a strong impact, even with her voice low, and soft.

Then it happened.

Eye contact. As ruby stared into amber and amber stared into ruby, everything else didn't matter. That was for a second but it seemed as if it has returned back to the two years they've been together, but no.

No, she wouldn't let those things get back. She averted her gaze to the others. "Yes?" she lifted her eyebrows. She was glad she didn't break a sweat when she looked at Natsume. She almost did, good thing she had the self-control to pull back.

_Of course I could've done that. God damnit Mikan, get a hold of yourself. You haven't seen him for five years. Surely his eyes would have less impact. Surely_he'd _have a lesser impact. Besides, he never did give importance to me. It was all wishful thinking. Ass._Mikan glared at the desk where there were scribbles of sorts. She stood up then grabbed her bag. They were still gathered around her, maybe expecting a smile?

"Mikan-chan, where were you?" Anna asked. Nonoko following up with "We missed you so much Mikan-chan!"

(~)

Just as I thought. The cheesy lines they were to say, more like tasked to, since I'm what…? Their friend? Definitely scratching that thought. Ugh.

Hotaru Imai seemed to musk out her courage and got out of her shell, as if I wouldn't know that she cried. I've practically browsed information already from busybodies. Tough luck, I'm not letting her off easily.

"Why do you even care?" I stated. Thank god they stayed silent.

"Because Mikan-chan! Because you…-" Ruka-pyon defending them? This is utterly annoying. Ruka-pyon was never one of them; he always had pureness in him. Ignore him, then. As good as he is he was always with them.

"Stay out of this." And for the first time since coming back, I was glad it was time for another boring class session. No disturbances. Heaven, peace.

(~)

Every one of them was confused as to why she was acting this way. They all thought she'd be all bubbly and smile _the smile_.

They should even be the ones to be mad at her sudden disappearance five years ago. But that didn't matter, she was back.

Or so they thought.

This wasn't _the_ Mikan Sakura every one was waiting for. This was just… Mikan Sakura. _The_Mikan Sakura would be a great surprise, joy, laughter, smiles, and happiness. This Mikan Sakura that was facing them all was, sure, a surprise, but she didn't hold the other aspects. All she held was mystery, and somehow, angst… against them.

Anna and Nonoko didn't know what to do; they just stared at each other for quite sometime, and sat there in front of her all as the others were still battling inside who would speak next.

Ruka had it bad. Stay out of this, she says. Didn't he have the right to miss her? He loved her so, and she made friends with the most difficult person to be with before, Natsume, his best friend. Now the most difficult person seemed to be her, the bringer of happiness.

"Ano…Sakura-san…?," Kokoroyomi slowly said as to see if she would cut him off, too. She didn't. Good. "Ano… Sakura-san…Nande…? Why did you…-?" Cut off. Okay, Mikan was now, ruling over their nervousness.

"I've let you off when you tried to read my mind. Don't make me _not_let you off." And the usual face of Kokoroyomi was losing its façade. Before, he would always fool around with her and Kitsunume. He longed for the time this would happen again. Maybe never.

She didn't want to bother with the others who didn't speak up, why would she wait for them. All she wanted was for them to leave her alone. She wanted to start anew. Anew where she didn't have to be with them.

"Mikan, why did you leave? Why didn't you tell us anything before? Mikan, tell me why?" Hotaru almost pleaded. She desired to know, for all she knows and hopes, maybe Mikan Sakura was just brain washed or blackmailed. She hopes it would be something like that. But she knew she hoped something impossible.

"Because." Was her only answer and started to walk out the door. Once she was out, she heard the flame caster talk.

"Why did you come back." Not a question. It was evident he had that dark aura around him while he stated that. And with that he went ahead of her with a blur. Why did it stop her from her tracks? Why did the simple five words make her stop and stiff up? She was angry at them. But she was angry at him the most. Why did he still have power over her? She hated it. She hated it.

"Damnit!" She shouted as she bore a hole on the wall. Along with some electricity sparks all through out the Academy. _Control it. Control it._She sighed, and then dashed out the building.

What could've caused the electricity to malfunction? Hopefully that wouldn't be Mikan.

As much as I hate to admit it, it _would_be Mikan. I just know her presence too well.

(~)

Today was supposedly _his_arrival but I forgot to tell her he was held back by a mission for two days. And I was hoping I could break it up to her nicely, now I wouldn't be so sure if that's the best idea.

As to why she agreed to come back to the Academy, I still don't know why she immediately agreed.

"Oi, Persona!" Narumi the Gay called out to me. "I have bean sprouts! Fresh ones! Want some?" he sheepishly grinned. He had been celebrating as soon as he found out _'his'_Mikan was back and has been bothering Misaki's garden for quite awhile now for some delicacies, and mainly some bean sprouts.

"I wouldn't want it if you stole it." I grunted. He never learns.

"OI NARUMI!" Okay, so here goes the quarrel. Misaki started chasing after him. God I heard Narumi's maniac laughter again. "Ohohohohohoooooo~!" while he was dancing with his normally strange clothing and ruffles. And they went on it for about an hour till Narumi used his Alice on him. I'm sure Misaki would kill him once he wakes up.

This was a similar scene as when dinner comes and Mikan and Andou would fight over the smallest things. Oh how that pisses me so.

"_Mikan, the Academy was wondering if, you know…you would consider to soon come ba-" Persona said as he was sure she'd cut him off, and she did._

"_Okay." She answered._

"_Wait, you're complying to them?" her sensei wanted to make sure he got the right word. He asked her more than a hundred times before but she said no, and now it's a—_

"_Yes." She said. A yes?_

"_Are you sure?" he raised his eyebrow._

"_Yes." So she was serious. A yes it is._

"_Then tomorrow at three in the morning, we shall depart." He informed. She responded with a slight nod._

_He wanted to ask why the sudden agreement. She heard him; she read his thoughts, again, which he hated._

"_I was analyzing the stars sensei. Surely they were afraid they'd get replaced or even get thrown down to earth or explode… but I know it took them courage to face this was supposed to happen eventually. And even if they hid they were sure to face the consequences. So the stars shining every night still took their place in the midst of knowing what would happen. I don't_know _what would happen and I wouldn't want to disappear without doing something." She spoke. Such a long sentence, Persona thought. It's been awhile since he heard her voice long enough to actually_hear _it._

"_So you mean—you want to…"_

"_To conquer the fears I have left. To finish my duties. To do my responsibilities."_

"To Face What I Have Left Behind"

**Waaaaaaaaa T.T konnichiwa minna again XD I was feeling VERY guilty because I haven't updated in what..months..or even a year . I'm very, very sorry!i hope to make it up to you all. I am in love with everyone who wrote me reviews****here they are, as a sign of thanksgiving :D I would really try to make it up to you. Being in high school practically sucks but you people make me happy :D**

**I thank everyone for giving reviews! Thanks for about 20 reviews I received on the first chapter!**

Aliceacademy8-glad to know I'm not the only new one here. I still have a lot to improve on.. about what they did to her..i really don't know when to reveal It *wink* maybe on the other chapters but surely not in this one :D

Usagi wanco-thanks for loving my story, I hope you don't hate it now that I've updated after months! Sorry! Thanks, I'm trying improve in writing and I hope we both do!

Dominiqueanne-thanks, and sorry for not fulfilling the "please update soon" part T_T gomen!

Comicworm-thank you very much, I too am looking forward to my next chapters as it all comes as it goes ahahaha!

XForgottenxMemoryX- yeah sometimes the goody-goody attitude is too much especially if others emphasize it too much. Thank you for the review!

ToS-fanatic15- OH WOOOOOOW! Ahaha, I was truly touched by your review~ thanks for thinking it's awesome, I hope people would think it is too, but I'm not expecting much since I'm really new to this. I love your review! I hope you'd think the second chapter's great as well -_-

Youichiix33-gomen, is it becoming too OOC, I hope I can improve on that part, gomen .about the update soon thing, I'm sorry I failed on that. But here it is, I hope you keep on reviewing :D

Lucia096-thank you, thanks so much :] I hope I still manage to meet your expectations :D

Cryztal Angel-thank you, I was really scared people would give me flames and all, sorry if I didn't update soon. I know it's too late, but I'm trying to make up for it :D

Gigl12345-wow, thank you for that :D I still have to improve on stuff but I'll try my best for all of you :D

Yankumi09-thank you :D

AnimeGirl66-well here's the next chapter I hope it's not too late . I'll updatre soon for the next chapter too :D

Neddicted-thank you, you really made me happy, I'm just updating and I hope you'd like it to :)

Elfspirit7-thank you :D

Duran-Kuga-well here's my update after a year or lottsa months . gomen. Hope it would satisfy you.

Littleazngirl24-thank you for that.

AKDumas-thank you for liking my story, i wouldn't quit since everyone's comments were really encouraging me. Here's the second chapter, I'm hoping to improve more though, I still have a long way to go.

Taeniaea-thanks

Olympiangirl-thank you so much :] I hope you'd still read my second chappie :]

**-thank you everyone, I hope you'd still review on my second chapter, I know it's almost a year, but I'm back and I'm planning to keep the updates going, it's a very hard time being in high school and I know after I graduate it would be more hectic but I hope I'd still make everyone satisfied at the very least. :D already working on the third chapter :D thanks for all your support!**


	3. Discipline or Instinct

**A CHANGE, A DIFFERENCE**

**CHAPTER 3**

**Discipline or Instinct**

_How could he make me loose control? How could he. Why did I let him?_

I sighed along with the flow of kunais gracefully hitting the same spot all over again. The oak tree fifty feet away from me with trees blocking it along the way. I've perfected it all Persona, I've perfected the speed, the spins, the turns. I've perfected hitting the same spot all over again, hitting the kunai towards it as the other one gave way to the other. I managed fifty meters when you told me twenty was enough. No one could catch such speed, you said that.

_Why did he let me not answer back! Why did he have to always be superior_! Why did he have to show up and call my name as if he longed for it, because I do not! I do not long for him. I do not want to see him. I do not want to see them! Damnit. Damnit. I could never contain the anger inside of me. And Persona knows that. And he told me to let my anger out by practicing my kunais or going on missions. Great, no missions leaves me to throwing these play toys. Godamnit. I've perfected it already. I had the strength, the accuracy, the spe-

"You're slow." What the _heck_ are you doing here.

Ignore, Mikan, ignore. Keep hitting the spot, ignore the obstacles. Heck Persona. You told me no one could catch such speed. Persona, you liar. So why can_he_catch it with ease? Hit more Mikan, continue.

So what if Kuro Neko's twenty one feet away from me with the kunais I threw in his hand. Tch. Another obstacle. I grunted loud this time while rolling my eyes at him as to let him know he's a bother, I aimed my kunai.

The hell is wrong with him? And _why_ is he standing now a mere inch away from me and my kunai? "You…-"

"You're slow." He repeated in a know-it-all voice, now with that stupid smirk. I swear I heard a snicker along with it. Curse you. Cutting me off like that. I could've hit him with my kunai. If… If only…

If only he wasn't Kuro Neko, and if only Persona wouldn't disown me at that, and if only Persona wouldn't do that to me again_. The thought haunts me_. I wouldn't want records of killing someone from the academy. Yes, that's the reason why I wouldn't hit him. Not because he was Natsume Hyuuga, my _ex-partner._That was it. He was Kuro Neko, I was Shiro Neko. Enough with the other thoughts. Enough.

I was about to hit my kunai in a different direction when he'd already snatched it from me. Yes, he's a bastard.

Okay, show me what you got. I raised my brow.

"Go ahead." I crossed my arms. As if he can do it.

"Sure. A hundred meters away from the tree. Right in the middle of your kunai." He gave his infamous smirk. Yeah right. Smirking would only mean you lose more after you find out you can't do that. Come on. You would need a lot of strength and speed to do that. To split the kunai in half, who could do such a—

First there was a swift breeze and a vague image of a kunai that went past through me. Then there was a smooth sound of halved metal.

_Okay_, _so maybe he did have such strength and speed_. And as much as I hated it, accuracy too. No way would I just accept that. So maybe Persona was right. Practice my kunais. Ugh, I hate doing that. Right, Kuro Neko just so happened to be _greeeeat_ in kunais. Note the hatred.

Again, Kuro Neko managed to give reasons to the most unreasonable ones. He gave me a smug look. I gave him an arrogant one back, picked up my kunais and decided to find a different location. Somewhere he wouldn't bother me.

(~)

"As inferior as ever, I see." He laughed almost mockingly.

"So you wish" She shot back.

"I don't _wish_," Natsume started as he gazed in her direction. "…I _know._" He pointed out as he emphasized 'know' as if he was so sure of it.

Who knew after five years they would still be shooting words back at each other. Only now, Mikan seemed more erudite, but Natsume was more advanced as well. Calculating with ratios, it seemed it was a kiddy fight before but now an abstruse battle. One, they still tried defending their thoughts, two, Mikan just came back from no where without explanation. Abstruse indeed.

"What do _you_ know?" She glared. _You know nothing._

"That you're inferior, didn't I just say that?" he lifted his eyebrow. All hail sarcasm.

_Ugh._Mikan simply walked away, not that she could escape his sight. _All hail superior jerk._She rolled her eyes.

"Of course I was sure before I knew you very well…-" he said then turned away as his raven hair flowed with the wind.

"That was before." She shouted.

"I know." He said, knowing Mikan would ask what he would want to say next.

"And?" she faced his back. _So what?_

"Ever thought 'before' could be 'now'?" he muttered, and then he disappeared from her view.

_You're tormenting me!_She thought with an annoyed look.

Mikan continued throwing kunais at different distances now with one thought in mind. _The Past can_never _be the present. Not if I don't want it to. And I don't want it to._

She was too absorbed in the kunais that she didn't notice her sensei nearing. She didn't want to stop, knowing that if she did she'd only be able to think about the past, and him. It was not good at all. _This shouldn't be happening, I was sure—_

"This is a surprise." Persona smirked. Shiro Neko stood up straight as to hide the fact she wasn't aware of his arrival.

"The kunais?" she stalled. _Stupid, 'the kunais?' you should've thought of something better._ Mikan punished herself as she rolled her eyes at none other than herself with a matching slap in the face. Of course she did these mentally or else she'd have been caught by Persona. Not that she hadn't already caught his attention, with her lack of 'sensing someone is coming'.

"No." he lifted an eyebrow.

As she thought, Persona was certain to read her actions. She continued hitting trees, seven different ones at once. A practice she was assigned to do ever since. She was hoping he'd shut it as she didn't want to acknowledge her mistakes already. _It was all_his _fault,_she blamed.

"Are you getting rusty from just a day off my training?" he faced her as he dissolved the kunais she was holding while she recovered from his sudden visibility right in front of her.

He was inches from touching her hands as if threatening to dissolve it as well when she instinctively pulled it away. Staring into the ground as she knew she definitely broke a sweat when he neared her. Got new kunais and started anew.

"I am not. Where's Andou-senpai?" she immediately changed the topic, hoping it would be possible.

Returning her question with another one, he asked her, "Why did you let off an alice awhile ago? To give off such significant force, I thought you didn't want to attract attention."

"I lost control. No big deal." She rolled her eyes.

"You were supposed to _restrain_ it," He growled. "Not to _expose_it._"_

"Are you _scolding_me?" she faced him now with a disbelieving look.

"Do not forget what I've told you. I am your sensei, you _obey_me." He scowled; she rolled her eyes in return. _You're being too stubborn again Shiro Neko. You wouldn't want to experience that again, would you?_ As Persona, ever so evil, glared at her.

"I said _I lost control_. Didn't you hear me?" she turned back.

"You had the chance to stop it, why didn't you?" he questioned.

"Because I felt I wanted it to happen." She annoyingly looked at him.

Persona, almost invisible, grabbed her hand as he put on her an Alice limiting device. "Then expect me to answer your question as to why I did this. Because I felt I _had_to." Mikan glared at him as she got her hand back by slapping his off. There were a lot of times these things happened between them. If Mikan started to be stubborn, he had to be stubborn too.

"You do know I can dissolve this, right?" she shouted while pointing to it, she was getting pissed off.

"_You do know_ that I know you could, and I have my ways as to stop you from doing that," Persona shot back. "…right?"

"_You_ suck." She managed to retort as she transported to her room without further ado.

"I…_suck_?" he muttered to himself with disbelief, almost as if he couldn't accept the term. _How dare she, sure we have disagreements, but she said I suck for the_second _time._ He thought disbelievingly. _That's preposterous!_

"Yup." A reminiscing voice led him to look above the tree.

_Oh great, another one to add to my annoyance. Kuro Neko._

"Don't tell me _you're_ getting rusty from training with Shiro Neko after abducting her?" Natsume snapped with a smirk as he was crouching down from a branch.

"So you've improved. I didn't even realize you'd been there all along," Persona looked at his student before "as much as I hate to admit it" he quickly pointed out.

He's grown a lot. Still had those trademarks. His smirk, his eyes, his raven hair, and the limiting device they've put on him. Obviously he still desired Shiro Neko without fully accepting it. "Watching my precious Shiro Neko practice, I presume?" he taunted.

"Error upon your assumption. I was _observing_ her, and besides, she's _not_ _your_Shiro Neko." He rolled his eyes "And she'll never be yours.", and then ever so speedily disappeared.

_Nekos are such a pain in the ass._ He thought.

(~)

Persona is _such_ a pain in the ass.

How could he do that to me? He knows I hate it. Being so authoritative, what gives?

_Of course I had to escape him while I still had the chance._ I just know he'd punish me again. I do _not_ want to experience that anymore. And besides, I was just throwing kunais! That was _soooo_ not called for. Dissolving the kunai I held, is he threatening me? _Again?_

This bracelet isn't half bad though, but ugh, I hope it doesn't interfere with me much. I hate it when they put limiting devices on me. _I hate it._

I feel so suffocated…

(~)

_"Enough of this! I won't do it again! Enough!" She kept on crying as she screamed with pain._

_"I've said this before, warned you, but you dared to refuse in complying__once again.__" He looked at the horror stricken girl._

_Her pale face, blood that traced her features, from the head, to the mouth, down to her feet as more blood came out of her arms and wounds; it stained her hair and dripped with its sound resounding due to the silence of the place. Only her voice and his can be heard throughout the room filled with nothing but darkness._

_"I didn't do anything wrong!" She screamed as her eyes couldn't wait to let out the tears she has been containing. "I didn't!"_

_"You knew you would face this once you had agreed. You knew you'd be in darkness, you knew everything you had to," he said as he ignored her continuous screaming of pain. "You knew it because of__him__, yet you still approved, stupid__little kitten__, have you no idea of what you're getting into?" he scowled as he looked fiercely at her with a hint of pity being mocked._

_"I know." She stated._

_Again she let out a scream of agony as he hit her face with his hand. Now blood flowed down from her cheeks. Slowly he approached her, and roughly had he turned her head to face him. He gripped her blooded hair tightly as he studied her._

_Despise was clearly written in her façade._

_His nails dug deeper into her porcelain face. "Scream and I resolve in boring holes in your face more till it's all blooded." He glowered. She knew he was not joking for he did comply with his threats. His threats always seemed absolute._

_It was like that. He'd command her and she'd have to abide by his rules._

_Immediate and complete. That's how it was to be._

_As his nails threatened to dig further into her face he waited for her scream. Her stained lips were trembling trying her hardest to not open it._

_He let out a smug laughter and let go of her._

_"Now let me ask__again__. Why did you did it?" he walked in front of her as he gave her a look saying she's translucent and that he can see through her. It also meant that if she wanted to suffer less, she was to talk rather than to experience more pain as she already has._

_The battered girl, now with almost every porcelain part of her broken, looked up with her fragile, auburn eyes. "He was hurt."_

_"Had I not told you before that you do only what__I__tell you to?" he asked, as he played with his long fingers, cleaning the blood stains on it._

_"He__almost__died." She reasoned as she tried to control her anger upon the unreasonable person in front of her. Her voice trembling as she contained her antagonizing pain._

_"Then let him." He answered. "All I want is that you finish the mission, and that you follow me."_

_With that he started walking away. "Now see,__you're__the one who's almost dying." He snickered._

_"He was senpai." She muttered. "He's a comrade, he's you're student, he's…-" she tried to justify herself. She didn't understand why she__had__to leave her senpai._

_"He's worthless if he'd die that easily. Saving him only means you don't trust him. Saving him only means you look down on him." Persona answered back as he closed the door._

_Left in darkness, left cold, left hanging, chains hurting as it's clung onto her for more than sixteen hours. She had to suffer more for she was to be reprimanded for twenty-four hours._

"Eight more hours." The brunette muttered somehow aching.

Her eyes shot open as she heard a small tap in the window. She sat up as she realized her clothes were all wet along with her sheets. Her hair clamped onto her face as sweat dripped from here to there. She realized she was holding the bed sheet too tight that it was almost completely torn, and thus released it. She got up and decided to take a shower as soon as she's called room service.

She was about to go near the phone when she saw this indistinguishable shadow pass by her, she was about to approach it but was gone already.

_Tsk. It's not like I owe you for waking me up._ She rolled her eyes as she proceeded to the phone. She swore she heard a snicker but ignored it.

She was aware that the nightmares were coming back, and she didn't like the sound of it.

She closed her eyes. It was her second day in the academy. How long does she have to endure being with them?

Then again, she was the one who accepted to go back. But she knew that whether she had agreed upon it or not they were going to bring her in anyway. She just had to make the first move, not to be ordered around.

She was to forget her nightmare and move on. It should be that way.

Persona trained her, disciplined her. And now it was time to show her to the academy.

(~)

_"Discipline or instinct Shiro Neko." He made her choose as he tangled his fingers around her hair._

_It was morning already and the blood she had shed had mostly dried up. There were still wounds though. There was still liquid trickling down the others. Her brunette hair now half wet with blood. She tried using her Healing Alice, which she stole from one of their missions, with what was left of her energy. She could barely move, thus, the Healing Alice wasn't that helpful at all._

_"I asked you." He said as he lightly tugged her hair._

_Silence._

_"I trained you. You were but one entity in this world, but I chose to discipline you. A kitten doing whatever she pleases is not what I wanted. Which do you prefer? The kitten that bites and does whatever it pleases? Or the one that stays behaved till it's told what to do?" He raised his eyebrows as he traced Mikan's stained features with his long fingernails._

_"You are not a wild animal, Mikan." He reminded her._

_"I'll be disciplined." She stubbornly agreed. Even with all that pain, she knew she had to make a point with her sensei. Tsubasa was important to her; she didn't want to leave him, dying, like that._

_He released the chains and swiftly caught his student. She was stubborn but she was learning._

_"I didn't want you using up your Alice in saving people. I wanted you to aim for the success of a mission. People I train should know that it's most important to finish the missions." He told her._

_"Stupid missions." She muttered._

(~)

Discipline or Instinct, he asks.

If discipline is what he wants then it is what he gets.

Ever since then I've mostly relied on his instructions. It was only when we were traveling to this place had he told me, that _now_, it is not only he that would be controlling me.

**Konnichiwa! Uooooo, this is my update, I promised to update soon, and this is as soon as I could. I've been going to and fro my parent's and grandparent's houses. Which is two hours away from each other XD anyway, I think I'll be a bit late in updating the fourth since I'm going to be attending to my enrollment :) thanks for future and past reviews!**

**Here are the first reviews of chapter 2 :]**

chrisca123456789-here's the third chappie! Thanks for your reviews! :)

AnimeGirl66-oooh, I love Tsubasa so expect not the worse for him :] I could've done that! But I guess I couldn't wait any longer. I've been to mean as to not update the whole err, almost a year XD

Xxdarkness-angelxX-well there are hints :]

Mikiramen-do you think I should put an OC? I don't think I'd like to thought, but maybe I'll figure it out as I write this story :D

Mahi101- thank you for thinking it's very engaging, I hope you'll like this third chapter as well :D

Pinkstarpatricia-thank youuuuu~ I've changed it to T :D thanks for continuously supporting and mailing me :] here's the update hope we can be good friends!

IceGirl7-here you go~

Taeniaea-thank you! Here's the third :D

**As for another goodbye, again, I hope I can update real fast T_T and please review, I really get encouraged more when people review my work. It makes me want to write more :D oh, another question. Do you think I should be putting an OC here? It's my first ficcy so I'm still thinking of what to do :D but I think it'd be better without one :]**

**Thanks for reading and those who reviewed!**


	4. The Return of the Forgotten

**A CHANGE, A DIFFERENCE**

**CHAPTER 4**

**The Return of the Forgotten**

**(A/N: I'm so pissed off T_T I put lines to separate POVs but it doesn't show up when I upload it T_T trying to fix it. I used (~) instead. Hope you'll understand T_T I edited other chappies as well.)**

I didn't want to become a part of Persona's ownership, nor the dangerous ability class'. But he threatened to dissolve everything that was ever important to me. My family, my friends. He dared even emphasize on Misaki.

My shadow alice was special, in a way that I can make fun of others. That's how I thought of it at first. I regret losing control of it in the grounds. I saw Misaki about to be raped and what ever I did next was a revelation to her, and especially to me.

Everything was pitch black in my sight. It was as if I made shadows out of nothing. And my rage took over the bodies of the criminals as I cursed them with pain and agony until they remember to never touch her again. I lost control of myself. Their veins started to explode, they writhed in pain, and their blood seeped out of their ears and nostrils, escaping from their bodies. It was everywhere. But I couldn't stop.

The once black sight I saw turned scarlet.

It was as if I've become a monster, able to control whoever comes in contact with my shadow. Even if I was only thinking it. It didn't take long before I realized I was dangerous. And I was afraid of myself.

We vowed to keep it to ourselves, but those who sought dangerous alices found me. And I couldn't run away from them.

I hated them. They find ways to black mail the students so that they'd follow their orders. And they take advantage of other people's alices. Who would join such a wicked organization?

I figured out that they, the students who are involved, mostly didn't have a choice. Threats, blackmailing, or death were the things they had to face. What's even scarier was that there were actually people who enjoyed killing, and seeing blood. And I hoped to not become one of them.

My alice was getting out of control and I secluded myself from the public, even from Misaki. I was afraid I would hurt them unknowingly.

I was having second thoughts on, not who, but _what_, I really was.

Then Persona appeared in front of me.

(~)

"Oh, " Mikan was surprised with who the person in front of her was. Her eyes showed surprise but lasted for only a second. It was long enough for Tsubasa to catch it though. "Andouuu-senpai…" It seemed as if she was still processing it in her mind. After all, Tsubasa came a day early and appeared out of nowhere.

_Here it comes. _Tsubasa snickered. He was waiting for her actual reaction.

_3.._

Mikan's eyes enlarged slowly as if picking up something very important.

_2.._

Her mouth slowly curved upwards to show her now unusual smile. She looked at Andou Tsubasa, her senpai, and the person she's been with for five years. The person that she's been waiting for. The person who understood her.

_3! _

"Andou-senpai! You're here!" She hugged him as he ruffled her hair. Times like these were rare, when Mikan would actually show a part of her past self. Tsubasa cherished the fact that he was special in that way. Being able to see it was like winning a prize out of a lottery.

"Ne, how was your mission?" Mikan asked. He noticed Tsubasa looking outside the window of the corridor. "Ne, Andou-senpai?"

(~)

"Andou-senpai! You're here!" Mikan-chan hugged me. I'm really happy about the fact that she trusts me enough to show me her smile. I ruffled her long, wavy, and almost golden, brunette hair.

I suddenly felt the nostalgic presence of the kid I loved to tease way back five years ago, only now he's not someone I can call a kid, heh. I remember how I'd show him my 'senpai-kouhai' intimacy with Mikan-chan and how he'd misunderstand it and become..well, jealous, haha.

His presence came from just outside the window. I smiled inside knowingly. Who knew that after five years he'd still feel the same for this brunette? I felt his presence become heavier when Mikan-chan hugged me.

"Ne, how was your mission?" "Ne, Andou-senpai?"

Seriously, Hyuuga has to control his feelings about a certain girl.

(~)

Tsubasa looked at his kouhai. "I did _fairly _well." He laughed.

"Mou! What are you being all modest about." Mikan retorted as she regained her serious composure.

Mikan and Tsubasa had different feelings in returning to Alice Academy. Persona always argued with Mikan that she might as well go back to the academy, but she despised the idea no matter how many times he asked her. Tsubasa, on the other hand, longed for Persona to ask him, which is why he always did his best. He wanted to see his friends again, especially Misaki. But years passed and still, nothing. Five years, and he was about to accept the fact that he won't be able to see them again. Persona had the flair of doing things in the last minute and pissing people off, which was kind of like his specialty.

"_We're going back tomorrow."_ Was all he had to say to make Tsubasa realize what he meant.

He longed for Misaki's touch and presence. Finally after five years of parting, he would get to hold her without worrying about her danger from his own hands. Finally, he would be able to tell her that he still loves her. Finally, finally. How he wished ease and comfort would be all he'd think of. But he knew he'd never be able to escape reality.

(~)

Natsume stared at how her golden brunette hair was swaying as she walked gracefully in the corridors. Such angelic features, but was containing nothing but hatred. It wasn't like he enjoyed watching her when he had free period, it just so happened that he was passing by and not because he wanted to. Right.

Of course, anyone would think otherwise, which was actually the truth anyway.

His eyes followed her every movement but flicked towards an ominous aura immediately when he sensed it. _It's Hentai Andou. _He grunted.

He saw how it took about three seconds for Mikan to process that she knew the person in front of her and smiling afterwards. _Still the same Mikan. Slow and oblivious. Hasn't changed much at all. _He smirked at the thought. Maybe there was still hope in seeing the Mikan everyone knew.

It wasn't like he ever thought of giving up anyway. It was evident that he still loved her as much as he'd hate to admit it.

_So my theories were right. The sudden disappearance of the idiot shadow caster is connected to Mikan's. _He concluded. He was merely observing when he saw how Mikan hugged Tsubasa. Of course, in Natsume's eyes it was Tsubasa who took the initiative.

_It had to be him. _He couldn't help but feel very annoyed and glared at the shadow caster. _That hentai should be thankful that Mikan's there. If she..-! _His train of thoughts stopped in an instant as he saw how Tsubasa ruffled Mikan's hair. Natsume decided to quickly look away.

"Hmm." There was a time when he was the one who did the things that, now, only Tsubasa can do. He hated feeling that way. The feeling of distance.

He leaped to another branch, and another, till he could see them no more.

Thinking deeply about it, he resolved in sleeping in their, err, his sakura tree. One of the things left to remind him of the times they had together.

(~)

_Mikan was right beside him. Everyone knew that no one can get in the way of the two of them. Of course, that didn't escape Persona too._

_Natsume was bounded by chains. Caged in a pitch black room with only a speck of light from the crack of a window high above the ceiling, enough to emphasize his perfect features._

_Blood was dripping down. It was his. The room smelled rusty and threatening. Mikan didn't know why Persona dragged her to this place only to find the person she cared most about battered and almost dying. Without hesitation she ran towards him attempting to heal him but was thrown harshly to the side by Persona._

"_Can't you see he's dying? I need to heal him, Persona I need to..-" She rushed back up seeing Natsume cough out blood._

"_If you take one more step I will kill him." Persona stated. Natsume wasn't looking at her. _

"_Natsume-kun! Are you alright?" No response. "Natsume-kun! Look at me, please!" She cried in confusion._

"_Kuro Neko had NEVER failed a mission before, do you know that?" Persona bellowed._

"_Then all the more you shouldn't hurt him!" _

"_Weren't you listening Shiro Neko? That was in the past! He failed a mission just now!"_

"_I'm sure he tried his best." She reasoned out._

"_You have no idea why he's up there Shiro Neko. It's because of YOU!" He shouted grabbed her porcelain face and stared intently at her._

"_Oi, Persona, let go of her. She has nothing to do with this!" Natsume muttered with all the strength he had left._

"_She has EVERY BIT of it to do with her! If not..-"_

"_I'm sorry Persona-sensei, but if I can just heal him and receive the punishment instead, that would be fine with me. I'll do anything." Mikan softly proposed._

"_Anything? Even if it means erasing and giving me your memories of the missions you had?" He taunted._

"_Yes. Just let me heal him!" She didn't know what he wanted with her memories but Natsume's life was all she cared about at the moment._

"_Don't do it." He managed to mutter as she held his face in her hands._

"_Shh." She whispered as she healed him._

Natsume woke up with a headache. Remembering the past was painful. But for the person he loved to leave and come back now was even more painful and confusing. He hated remembering the part that comes after his dream.

The only thing he liked about dreaming about the past was remembering how she smiled and called his name.

(~)

_I remember the night that he told me he despised me and hated me._

_Persona dragged me in a dark room. He was there too. Hyuuga. He was bounded with chains._

_That day my friends, and everyone I had trusted betrayed me and all I needed was for him to tell me everything will be alright. That he'll be there when no one else would be._

_The place smelled rusty and I saw blood on the floor. Hyuuga didn't seem to have any wounds though. I presume it was from another person._

"_Natsume-kun, ano, I..-"_

"_Go away." He muttered. Although I found it hard to believe then. So I tried again._

"_Natsume-kun, my frie..-"_

"_Didn't you hear me? I said go away. I hate you." Hearing him say he hated me was even more agonizing._

"_I really need you to hear me out.. j-just now everyone who taught me to trust made me doubt everything. Natsume, all I need is for you to assure me that everything's going to be alright. That everything will..-" Hyuuga's temper was something I knew how to deal with. But at that moment I wasn't sure of what I can do anymore._

"_Damn it Mikan! Leave me alone!" He shouted. The chains sounded as if he was being restrained. Why would he be mad at me?_

_Silence._

"_Persona asked me to join him." Please, tell me not to go. I just need to hear it from you. "Natsume, if you tell me..-"_

"_Do what you want." Was all he said. I've had it._

"_Fine! Be that way! You know how important your words are to me. But hear me out. I don't care anymore, I'm leaving!" A tear escaped my eye._

Mikan's eyes shot open. _I did do what I wanted. I left everyone of you. _

That was one of the biggest decisions Mikan had made. Because it meant not seeing them, him. And never knowing what was really behind those words.

_This dream is a reminder that I should never feel anything towards you especially. _She hated to admit that remembering that happening still had an impact on her. She stood up as she wiped a tear on her cheek and sniffled. She was never going to cry for the same reason ever again. It was still a mystery to her why he said those words; still a mystery to her, how he really felt that time. After five years, still..

It was still him.

But she quickly erased that thought. Right now, all she needed to think about were missions and how to prove them all wrong.

(~)

"I can help you." Persona spoke.

"Never."

"I thought you'd be tired of running away."

"Not if it's from you." I glared. I still remember every detail of it.

"I know you almost killed Misaki, I may do you a favor of doing it myself..-"

"You keep her out of this!" I remember letting out my alice, in attempt to destroy Persona. All he did was smile an evil smile and my shadows crumbled to nothingness.

"You didn't let me finish. I can do that, really._ Or_ I can help you control your alice."

"I'd rather die than getting help from the people who killed my family."

"Well, it's not like you have a choice anyway. Your family's dead; Misaki isn't. What's there to argue about?" He turned away with a smirk. "Mikan's joining me by the way, and she wasn't threatened at all."

Hearing about my kouhai made things weigh heavier. If I left, would it be better for everyone? If I joined Persona, would I be able to protect Misaki and the people I still have?

"I can assure you that Misaki will be protected. So, Andou?" I was sure that he knew what my answer would be.

"Fine."

That was one of the toughest decisions in my life. I spent years training and following orders hoping to hear from Persona that I did well and I deserved to go back to the Academy. But the only thing I received from him was agony. Barely a hint of gratitude. It was as if he enjoyed bloodshed and seeing people getting hurt. I saw it. I felt it. But I faced it.

I know that five years is enough to forget someone.

But here I am, hoping that when I return, I will be remembered.

(~)

**Konnichiwa minna-san! I know my followers would start thinking "what is up with March or April that riskydenial-san updates on those months?" Well the truth is that there's actually no trivia to it T_T I'm very sorry my dear readers. But good news! My story is starting to unfold so I hope you stay tuned. The reason why chapter 4 took too long was because I deleted the first draft accidentally Y_Y and so I felt bummed and lazy. But worry not, chapter 5 is on it's way out.**

**2010 was the start of my first year as a college student. And I can finally find more time to write ficcys! Yey! :D Oh, and by the way, I'd love to hear from all of you You guys are too awesome to still be reading my ficcy. I love you all! **

**~~I'm so pissed off T_T the lines to separate the POVS are disappearing when I upload them waaa. So sorry for all of you. I've only fixed the problem now. I resorted to using (~) this instead. Hope you all understand.**

**Q: So what do you think about the story so far? I mean..er..is it confusing T_T?**

Special mentions:

hannah-chanxox-the dreams really happened. Scary right? _ thanks for reading! I love youuu!

Si Hannah to dude- thanks for reading it and leaving a review. I miss you! :3

Sakura Breeze-I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story's starting to unravel!:D

Moonlight blue wolf- really? :D I hope you still like it!

Mishaa-true! You got it! Here's chapter 4 for you~ Hope you still like it :D

Maxeyn-haha, I love your review. It was short but it made me smile :D

DREAMLYN-LA-DY-BUG- waaaa! Haha, rest assured, there would be no persona x mikan relationship that would go beyond father-mentor rel :D

Feebleminded –mouu! Thank you so much! Still a noob, really -_-

Jaahkms-really? That's such a nice thing for you to say :3

Rei141-thank you! I did update but it wasn't 'soon' T_T hope you enjoy it though

Taeniaea-I know T_T huhu. Thanks for your review! :D You're so awesome for always reviewing my chappies! *huug!*

Pinkstarpatricia-here's the super late chappie T_T I miss talking to you!

IceGirl7-thank you for being so considerate : here's the update even if it was too late.

Emmoria-thank you so much. I'm happy to know that you're enjoying it :D Hope you still will~

Xxdarkness-angelxX-yes. VERY XD

Mahi101-GAAH You are such an amazing person! Thank you for that great compliment. It touched my hear so much. I also love you for your constructive criticism. Thank youuu~ I hope this time, there would be less typo and grammatical errors :3

The Little Hobbit- Miki! :D I decided to not go with the OC to hohoho! Don't worry, see, Tsubasa didn't die :D Yey!

****THANK YOU ALL for such wonderful reviews. Now that I am in college, there would be more free time but more studying. I now promise to update more than once a year! *insert laughter here* I really appreciate you all **


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